Yeah, thats what our cities finest are most proud of currently. Riding three abreast on the bike path, or as illustrated in the following photo from Marks Flickr page, driving on a pedestrian only bridge.

Oh, and thanks for 'making way' for the cyclist guys. Thats mighty white of you.
The terrorists dont stand a chance.

If you care to read the whole story, which Im betting you do not, its right here.

But this isnt a just forum in which to savor the frivolity of our local government. Its also a place that we can showcase the cops being heros as well.
Case in point- this here email from Lou;

"Stevil,

Just thought I'd share this while it was fresh in my mind. I was out just a couple of hours ago, sneaking in a Sunday night "sanity ride" to put the craziness of the past week behind me. I was about 4.75 miles into a quick 10 miler, just before my turn around, enjoying the warm summer night...bad air and all. Right then I heard the accelleration and saw the movment of headlights. As I looked over my left shoulder, a very samll car with 4 very large guys in it swerved towards me and launched a full unopened bottle of water at me. It hit my left arm so damn hard it felt like a bat. The top actually came off when it hit me. I'm no physics expert, but they were probably doing 50-55 mph when they threw it...you can do the math. Anyway, here's the best part. My turnaround is at a police substation, so these morons pulled this crap within 1/4 mile of a cluster of black and whites...one of who was headed the other direction and saw the whole thing happen. I pressed charges and got to watch the knucklehead get loaded into the police car and read his rights. Apparently in the great state of CA, throwing a projectile from one moving vehicle towards another moving vehicle (they checked the books and BIKES QUALIFY) is a FELONY! Score one for us. In his defense, said knucklehead told the arresting officer, "I wasn't trying to hit him, I just wanted to hit the bike." Smart. Then the officer asked, "What if you had made him crash? Do you realize you could have killed the guy?" To which the knucklehead replied "uhhhhhhhhh" Even smarter.

Bruised and shakey but still riding!

Be well and thanks for HTATBL

Lou"

Were glad youre alright Lou. If I had a dime for every time Ive had something lobbed, thrown, spit, chucked or hucked at me while partaking in a bike ride, Id be a rich man. It almost makes all of those instances worth it that these subhuman thugs got their just deserts.

This next tidbit has nothing to do with cops in any form or fashion, but of a young girl in Alaska that ended up on the business end of a very large and very angry bear. Yjro writes;

"Stevil,

Did a 24 hour race up in Achorage this weekend, a competitor got mauled by a bear at about 1:30 in the morning.

Here's the rundown.

If you can have everybody keep her in your thoughts, that would be awesome.

Thanks,
Yrjo (Dutch)"

Of course shes in our thoughts. If anyone knows how we might get ahold of her to lay some Swobo love in her hands, please contact me and give me the scoop.

Someone that will be getting no love from us however is this cat that Ive affectionally nicknamed Captain Jackass.

Id buy a bakers dozen of those decals if I could plaster his stupid face shut with them.

Of course I imagine hell be singing a different tune as the subject of this article comes to fruition-

"Over the next four years, we are likely to witness the greatest mass exodus of vehicles off America’s highways in history. By 2012, there should be some 10 million fewer vehicles on American roadways than there are today—a decline that dwarfs all previous adjustments including those during the two OPEC oil shocks."

But of course as The Bike Snob recently reported, the downside to this dream is the streets being flooded by people who have absolutely no idea how to ride a bike in traffic, thereby making the daily commute an equally, albeit totally different kind of treacherous.

Be careful what you wish for, indeed.

Waggle, the moustache "winner" writes;

"So I was J.R.A. with my car full of shit because I was moving and when i say full of shit I was about 2 feet from having a microwave in my lap. Anywho this light turns yellow so I hit the gas because the brake was not an option then i would have a lot more shit in my lap and besides... fuck brakes. anyway i guess from the "highly trained" eye of the local law enforcement i ran a red light. as i was sitting there i looked and the trip odometer and guess what i see?

a little 666 staring right back at me. I wish i was lying about this because i now have to take out of my 2009 bike tour fund and let the city spend it on some asshole cops salary. i snapped a little picture just for you. I'll try harder to avoid the bummer life, next time i'll be riding my bike.

john"

Waggle, I suspect that this occurrence was no accident.

Sky sent this shot on to me the other day;

I immediately thought of the scene in 'Lord of War' during which a fast motion clip unfolds of a cargo plane being completely stripped top to bottom. As I replied to Sky, I suspect that if this truck was parked in Portland, a very similar fate might befall it.
And try as I might, Im unable to find the clip to which Im referring, so youll just have to settle for the trailer.

Its times like these when I feel as though I just may have actually come to the end of the internet...

But then Michael emailed us to let us know he shot some love our way via his blog "What Bike Should I get Next?"
So I thought it only fair that I return the favor.

Dont ask me, Michael. You know Id probably say a Hunter.

Like Ricks new personal boinger;

Or Hernandos swanky new velowhip;

Maybe if youre lucky, hell even customize your new rail with his label maker (note the little blue rectangles on the top tube). In fact Rick even came into the office the other day and presented me with one of my own that simply says-
"S.Kinevil- Former team rider."

When I shoot, I shoot for the stars.

It occurred to me this morning that its almost been a year since I began my epic journey of injury and illness. Ive had torn muscles, hyperextended fingers, cracked ribs, bad hole surgery, followed by a colonoscopy, lost keys (which should be noted had nothing to do with the two previously listed procedures), pinched nerves and a veritable rainbow of other random afflictions.

The bright side though, is that I didnt have a cold through the entire winter. Anyway, that being said, I find myself presently in the throws of the most incredible tendentious I could imagine (though Im still waiting on the results of X-rays, so my diagnosis might be way off) which for the most part is now keeping me off of my cross bikes, and if you know me even a little bit, youre well aware of how much that sucks.
Id like to think that coming upon this anniversary the gods realize that Ive had enough, and that perhaps its time to turn their attention elsewhere.

But then thumbing through The Drunk Cyclist, what should I find but this;

Just so you know, Ive already called the shark attack, and Dan picked all five spider bites, so youll have to choose another way out.

Last but certainly not least, our good friends at Urban Velo have got their new issue put right to bed. Check this link, this link, or this link for the good stuff.

Alrighty then. Another installment of How To Avoid The Bummer Life is in the books. I suspect that when that shark finally sinks its teeth into my flesh, the epitaph on my tombstone might read;
"He was responsible for hundreds of entries, and man, were his index fingers really, really calloused."